The Avilla Family's own....

Adoption Adventure

Tuesday: Another Visit and Concern: What Will Elena Say in Court?

Tuesday morning we repeated our trek south to visit the girls, about ninety minutes away. The countryside along the two-lane highway is composed of flat, snow-blanketed meadows, broken by occasional hills covered by white-barked birch trees. Villages stretched away from the main road; small dilapidated shacks and outbuildings on little plots of land. I was intrigued how these places could be kept warm. Irina told me they usually have a large cookstove that also heats the house.

Instead of going directly to the children's home, we pay a visit to Galina, the regional social services director who has been closely involved with our children from the beginning of their placement in the Children's Home. She knows the whole story of their family-of-origin. Kerry and I had visited her during our first trip. She is delighted to see us back and, after smiles and hugs, eagerly looks through our photo album with her supervisor. Kerry had dutifully prepared a list of questions to collect as much information as possible about our children for that time in the future when they would begin to desire more details about their roots. Then we uncover a startling bit of information - Galina was the person who chose Lise's name! I was delighted to know that someone had extended love to Lise, even as a newborn. I told Galina that naming a child was a sign of parental covering and I promptly declared Galina the honorary godmother! We love Lise's name, Elisaveta, and were grateful once more to have stumbled upon the kind of background information that most adoptive parents never receive.

We arrived at the Children's Home and were offered lunch in the director's office. I had come prepared for lunch with our own stuff, but Irina had been right - Vera would insist on serving us. The resident medical doctor joins us, a young, soft-spoken woman that reviews the children's reports with us in preparation for the court appearance the next day. Kerry had previously sent the reports to an international adoption specialist for review, so there are no surprises for us.

After lunch we visited with the girls in Elena's room and asked if they had any questions about being adopted. Nope, they barely paused from their fiddling with the few toys in the room. Galina arrived and we shooed the girls out to speak with her about our remaining questions. We heard more of the sad story of human misery that has been our daughters' past. By the grace of God, we're changing that cycle!

I had copied the digital pictures taken the day before onto videotape. Vera pulled out the VCR, gave it to one of the older boys to hook up, and we gathered the kids around to see pictures of themselves on the TV.

The last agenda item for our visit was a one-on-one with Elena. Tomorrow she will appear in court and be asked questions by the judge. Irina, Kerry, and I sat on the bed and chairs in Elena's room and talked openly with her about how we would respect her thoughts and opinions. Almost twelve, he is a young lady and we realize she will have some major adjustments ahead, two being the absence of her friends and the requirement to learn a new language. She was very reserved and quiet, smiling occasionally. We finished by explaining to her that she didn't have to call us Mama and Papa unless she was comfortable. I told her she was free to say no to the adoption, hoping to relieve any pressure she might feel, plus wanting her to be able to look back on the decision as her own free choice for that time in the future when she might have moments of regret. When we got up to leave, the girl of few words hadn't said anything affirming her decision. In fact, she seemed a little withdrawn from us. We had a round of tea and sweetbread in Vera's office, then said goodbye to everyone and left about 5:45 p.m.

The sun is setting on our left as we drive out of the small town of Vyazemsky; we are weary from the day's activities and jet-lag has overcome our initial adrenalin rush. The discussion in the car with Tatiana is about how Elena would respond to the judge's questioning. She was so timid with us that I am afraid she will not answer firmly and the judge will interpret her adolescent coyness as hesitation about being adopted. Underlying this concern is the reality that there was a time last year when she was been very concerned about leaving Russia. Vera said Elena then came to her after several weeks of soul-searching and told her she was ready to be adopted by us.

We gathered back at the flat, lingering in the hall, discussing the events of the day with Tatiana, Irina, and our homestay hostess. When asked if I was nervous about the court appearance the next day, I replied "No, it's going to be a celebration!" But all the women are pensive. This little bit of uncertainty left us hanging ever so slightly as we prepared our thoughts for the next morning in court. Tomorrow will be the "knot-hole" of our trip - if we get through that okay, our dream will stay alive.

Click here for the next episode - Our Day in Court: We Answer Lots of Questions!...

The Adventure of a Lifetime with consequences for eternity starts with one step for your family, too!...


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